Finishing Up

I can't believe that we are completing our final high school projects. It is by far the strangest feeling. I have 6 more days of being 17 and I have such mixed emotions about it. I don't feel like I ever stopped being the little girl that was excited to grow up and play with the big kids. I'm afraid that my mentality of wanting to grow up too fast made me miss out on some things. I feel like I wasted a lot of time trying to be older and do things that older people do before the time was right. I'm sad that I'll never have a chance to go back and do it over. To me that's one of the weirdest things about living: the idea that everything only happens once. We hear it everyday but how many times have we actually listened to what that means? I'm hoping that when I get to college next year (SANTA CRUZ!!!) that I will be more open to being young and just trying to live. I don't want to feel like I've wasted anymore time. On the other hand, I'm very excited to leave for college. I finally decided on Santa Cruz and I'm really happy with my decision. The idea that I will no longer be living with my Mom is a very bittersweet thing. I'm really nervous about essentially starting over and I just hope that I will adjust quickly and do really well :)!

Indecisive

Last week I went on an impromptu college trip to help me decide where I wanted to go to college. It ended up simply making things much much harder. I am currently between UC Santa Cruz, San Francisco State University, and Cal State Long Beach. I feel like I am no closer to deciding than I was back in November. I was also wait listed at Santa Barbara and if I find out that I get in there, I will drop whatever school I have chosen and go there. However, in the meantime, and if I don't get in, I need to decide. I have until May 1st and I'm so anxious about this decision. I really wish I knew what to do or who to ask. There are things I like and dislike about every school but I feel like no one has the answers to the questions I'm asking. I guess I'm also really frustrated that we have no college advisor right now. I felt like it was slightly unfair of Shanaiah to leave right as all of us are making the biggest college decision of our lives. I guess I'll just have to leave it up to collegeprowler.com :)

Final Stretch

This week was really stressful for me. Coming back from spring break was obviously really hard but I'm also so sad that we are really in the final stretch of our high school careers. I decided to do my Twelfth Night project alone and all in all, I'm very happy with the result. As far as Will's final, happy would be a very blatant lie. I have never done so badly on a test in my entire life. I personally feel as though his class is a little bit ridiculous. But that's probably just because I have never felt so stupid in a class in all of my years of school. I'm really hoping that I can survive the required math classes in college and then never ever have to do it again. I'm definitely struggling with the quiz corrections. If I couldn't correctly answer them on the test, why on earth would I be able to do them now? It's all just really frustrating to me. I wish that the concepts would just click for me as I practiced, however they still all seem to be in a foreign language to me. All week I've just been really jealous of Alex and the fact that he was in Athens having fun, while I was at school and work. Work has been really overwhelming lately. It's almost as though the more pressure I feel from school and the more time I need to spend studying and doing projects, the more my boss seems to feel I need to be at work. I thought that people said second semester of senior year was supposed to be fun and stress free? For me at least, I have had anything but that experience.

OUTTA HERE!

I am so relieved to finally be done with midterms and be ready to leave for Greece. This semester has been one of the most academically challenging in I think my entire high school career and I'm fairly sure that I failed the math midterm. However, I've decided that there is nothing I can do to change it and I'm going to be just doing homework 24/7 after spring break to make up for my poor grades. I also finally finished my first inquiry project book and I really liked it. I read a thousand splendid suns and i loved it. The ending was by far one of the saddest things I've ever read and I didn't think (SPOILER ALERT) the woman would actually die, however I think it was a really good conclusion to the story. I'm so excited to go to Greece though. We leave on Wednesday and I haven't even started packing or thought about what I should bring. I'm really excited to go to Santorini and see the sisterhood of the traveling pants was filmed.... because I'm lame and like that movie. But i'm happy to spend the week with Naomi and Rishika and Alex Petrou and make fun of his Greekness in Greece.

First Required SLC EVER.

Since I have done next to zero blog posts and I think actually zero blog responses this semester, I am failing Stephanie's class. This means that for the first time, I qualify as one of those people who has to have their parent come in for Student Led Conferences to discuss their failing grade. This pretty much sucks. Hopefully I cam get on my blogging and not fail English second semester considering I have been accepted to colleges as an English major, it would look kind of weird if it became my worst class. I feel like I can never get enough time in the day to finish everything that I need to. I go from school to work or to dance. MADCAPs is finally over, 6 years and 18 shows and I am finally done. I'm pretty satisfied with myself for not tripping on stage and am really glad that Eli, Will, Alan, Colleen, Andra, Alex Petrou, Leigh, Riley, Brenda and Logan all came to the show. It was fun to have them there. But now that that's over, I've moved back to Chula Vista again which mega sucks and I would just really like to be on my way to Greece already. Until then, I'll keep blogging until I can hopefully pass :)

SO BUSY.

This week's post is a few days late because I have not had enough time to even breathe or sleep all week. The MADCAPS show is this weekend and we open Thursday which means that I've had practice every day this week and twice a day during the weekend. My dance team also had its first competition of the season on Sunday and I had to go on Saturday as well. I also worked both days. I'm not sure how I'm ever going to get my school work done this week to be honest. I'm also definitely not excited for the MADCAPS show. It is my last year doing it, however the organization is supposed to be about raising money for our community, however it seems to have become very hypocritical and more about what we look like on stage. On the other hand, I'm really proud of my dance team for taking 4th overall at the Revolution Dance Competition this weekend. I didn't even get to stay for awards because I had to leave for MADCAPS practice and leave straight from there to work. I really hope our teachers don't decide to lay on the homework this week, there's just no way I'll get it done.

STEPHANIE IS MY FAVORITE

It's been a very long time since I did one of these and I'm fairly sure if I had an overall grade in English in powerschool it would be an F. So I'll get this week's done early. I'm very behind in everything and if you know me, you probably know why. However, I do really like the book that I'm very behind in reading and I'm so excited about reading Twelfth Night. It is one of my favorite Shakespeare plays and I'm excited to already know the story line. Watching the three guys and several girls to the cold reading today was actually really entertaining and as much as I enjoyed the tragedy unit and thought I wouldn't enjoy the comedy unit, I already have proved myself very wrong. This year has by far been one of my hardest to deal with at home, but I've come to love school so much. Ever since 6th grade when my mom forced me to go to High Tech Middle, I have fought her every step of the way. I always wanted to go to Point Loma High with all my friends but I am so glad that I stayed. I couldn't be more grateful for all of the help that everyone - students, teachers, deans - have offered me. I'm going to be so sad to let this all go in just a few very short months.

inquiry project round 2

This semester we are repeating our Inquiry Project that we did last year but with a new essential question and groups. My group is Katie Ho, Rishika Daryanani (sorry if I spelled your name wrong Rishika), Cecilia Yeung, and myself. We are reading books that are going to give us a better perspective on the oppression of women around the world. As we are all females, I think that this topic will be something that will really open my eyes. We live in about the most modern city and country in the world where women are - generally speaking - viewed as equal. However, how much discrimination occurs that we are so used to or expect that we don't even see it as wrong? Hopefully our research will reveal what women go through just to have a life where they are treated half as fairly as we are everyday. On one hand, I feel like there is still a significant amount of sexism in all parts of the world, but on the other, I feel as though we take for granted how lucky American women are. I think this may be the perspective from which I write my essays. Hopefully this topic is not as depressing as my one last semester was.

Beginning of the End

This week I was really afraid of starting government class. Everyone from last semester made things seem really difficult and unfortunately I submitted my UC apps saying that I was going to take honors in government. It's not that I don't think that I am capable of completing the work that he assigns, it's just that I don't believe I have enough time to complete all the work. I have a job, and I dance 3 days a week, and I teach a dance class. I feel like I hardly have enough time to breathe as it is and I'm afraid that if I'm being forced to write 9 page papers every week that there's no way I'm going to be able to keep my head above water. The one good thing about this week was that I woke up Tuesday morning really afraid to walk into calculus and find out my grade on the final. I had an 86% in the class without my final grade and I was definitely fearing that there was a possibility my overall grade would fall to a C+ or lower. However, I scored a 90% on the final and my final grade in his class was a 90% exactly as well. With the very large amount of school that I've missed since the accident, I am really proud of myself for studying really hard and finishing the semester with straight A's :) But the idea that this is my very last semester in high school makes me really sad. I'm relieved that the work will be over, however the idea that I can never come back to this, is an overwhelmingly depressing thing for me. I really hope these last few months are ones that I will never forget.